You, in a relationship

There's a misconception out there in the world that when we enter into a committed relationship, some parts of ourselves are to be subdued, quieted, or minimized. In healthy and lasting unions, this can't be further from the truth. Research has proven that accepting, nurturing, loving environments help us thrive; this is a universal law that applies to all human interactional processes. We may find this in great neighbours, supportive colleagues, an awesome workplace, and the smile of a good friend. If you look closely, this salve-like brand of goodness is everywhere.

That said, subduing, quieting and minimizing does happen, sadly, in unhealthy relationships. In these I've heard hurtful words, seen the holding back of truths, and been witness to emotional fortresses where nothing gets in or out. At a glance, couples like these look like everyone else, differentiated only by how they feel about each other and themselves. Someone once said that "I've never felt as alone as I feel when its just the two of us". Under these circumstances, there is only the getting by, the surviving, the "someday it will be better"s.

So, please remember that love and life is all about YOU, the you in the relationship and its affect on the treasure you are. No partner is flawless enough to always say the right thing, heck no one is, but the climate must be broadly and generally conducive to you (both) flourishing. How you feel in it, how you feel about yourself because of it, and how this helps your own soulful journey is a dang accurate tell. At the end of the day, if there was ever a place where we are to be real, genuine, relaxed, valued, celebrated and yeah safe, its right here.