What can I, as a couples therapist "fix"?

The quick answer is, nothing. Relationships improve when clients do the hard work, I help bring forward the right information so they don't just keep re-injuring old wounds, I provide guidance and support to help them move forward healthily. It's more complicated than that, but the successful couples I've had the privilege to work with own every bit of joy and happiness they are experiencing today.

To be clear, even after decades in this business there are many things I can't do. I can't put love where love doesn't, or no longer exist(s). I can't change anyone, when change happened in sessions it was because they sought or accepted help to make it so. I can't make your partner seek treatment, end an affair or stop having them; I can and do let them know of the likely consequences to continuing down those paths. Seeing and speaking truths, clearly and kindly, come easy for me.

Sometimes success is getting the last check mark in the box so couples feel like they've tried everything. Sometimes success is bridging the gap between two people who desperately want to be together. Sometimes success means ending the relationship and walking away being and feeling whole. Always, the couples I work with gain a much clearer understanding of what their relationships are or aren't made of; this is how they reach their versions of well deserved, celebration worthy success.

#couplestherapy

#marriagecounseling