Part 1: Intimacy

Have you ever wondered what a strong and healthy relationship looks like? I sure did, enough to explore it thoroughly. This is the first of a three part series on the key elements I found in such unions during my doctoral work. I set out to investigate what these well grounded couples were all about so here it is, four long years in three simple words: intimacy, commitment and respect.

I begin here with intimacy because without it, there really is no point. All these doin' it right couples had intimacy in spades. It was everywhere. More commonly referred to as love, it was the strong and unyielding desire to be and stay connected to each other. It's what held two people together through very thick and very thin. It included physical attraction and sex where both took care to meet each other's needs. Equally important was the fact that intimate couples enjoyed a strong mutually satisfying friendship; they liked interchanges and in fact they craved them. It wasn't dependence or reliance, it was all about a definitive want.

So, if you have this foundational part then you're well on your way. If you aren't sure, it will be worth your while to look at your relationship closely. Invite conversations on this topic with your partner, or start asking yourself, how do I really feel about this person? Sometimes its there but well hidden or taken for granted; and sometimes it isn't. This may or may not mean further steps, the critical part here is that you are wholly and completely honest with yourself.

#love

#intimacy

#marriage