Let’s talk about our "self"

Everything we think, feel, and do reflects our sense of self. This sense governs every act, it defines every want, and this conceptual understanding (or misunderstanding) is always at play. It’s self-esteem, self-worth, self-image and self-definition, all wrapped up in one. Our selfness developed very slowly, such that we can easily find ourselves proceeding through life with little thought of what drives us.

So let's ask ourselves some questions. Are we ploughing forward in pursuit of success, status, the ultimate something, or a magic number on a scale or label? Why? What needs do these serve and what do we think those will bring to our selves? Will that goal satisfy us in a look-back-at-my-life-from-my-death-bed way? Maybe it's about a relationship. Are we with someone because we don’t believe we deserve better or, do we believe that the journey from here to there (wherever your there is) is impossible?

Here’s the thing.

This life we have, the one we’re in is the only thing that’s truly ours. We don’t own our loved ones, possessions can be here one moment and gone the next. So, my wish for us is this: that we strip away all that no longer serves us, and have only our true self in the driver’s seat. May we find ways to keep it that way. I wish us to feel solid on the ground, unwavered by the comparisons and demands of others. I wish for us to have a lot less want, and far more savour and delight. I wish for us to always exhale deeply, peacefully and effortlessly.

In the quiet, please ask yourself these more important self-exploratory questions. Do I like who I am and how I see me? Do I feel good in my skin? Do I treasure myself the way I treasure those I love? Am I kind, generous and compassionate, inwardly? Do I cherish my perfectly imperfect humanness? Am I living a life consistent with my values? If there’s a no in there somewhere, it will be worth your while to explore what’s in the way or who is holding you back. The real purpose of our existence may be to find a very deep love within; perhaps only then can the extraordinarily wonderous thoughts, feelings and actions truly fill our lives!