The realness journey is something everyone is on whether they realize it or not. We call it different things: it’s “finding myself”, “looking for peace”, “searching for calmness”, “aiming for authenticity”, and “being honest” with ourselves and others, among many things.
In essence, however, what we really want is to FEEL and BE, the best parts of ourselves. We’re not looking for a caffeine, alcohol, sugar, ego, and everything else high, we are looking for US. The real us. You are looking for YOU. I stared at, wrestled with, obsessed on, and worked this concept of realness ad nauseam, and voila, a pattern emerged!
There are stages that people usually go through. This list is both over and under-simplified, yet it’s as accurate as I can sketch out at this time.
1) We are in the periphery. We pick up on the concept of realness, but don’t really believe it applies to us, “right now”, or ever.
· We are not stupid – we know when there’s too much bullshit in our life even if we can’t define where it is exactly.
· We know people who ARE real, and we love them; we keep them close because sometimes we need their light to illuminate our path even just a little.
· Deep inside we wish, silently, wordlessly, and perhaps unknowingly, we could feel the way our realer friends do.
2) We are curious with interest. We want to learn something that might help.
· At this stage people have bought books and perused them, maybe even read them, and followed the advice.
· We’ve listened to audiobooks, podcasts, and self-help media.
· We’ve made some changes in other areas of our lives, hoping it will hit the mark. Sometimes it does, for a time.
3) We are braver. We want to figure out what’s really holding us back, and we’re ready to DO. Do what? We’re not sure, but whatever the hell it is, we’re ready, willing, and able to DO.
· We risk engaging interactively and step out of our comfort zone.
· We are thirsty and absorbent, we can’t get enough new knowledge, and we’re fighting to let it all in.
4) We are ALL-IN. We are ploughing forward!
· It’s messy and sometimes ugly, but we’re up for it, leaving bullshit behind.
· It’s scary, sometimes terrifying, but we KNOW something else is on the other side. We WANT IT. Our aim is sure and precise. We get a sense of what’s possible and won’t stop until we get there.
· Many get so overwhelmed that they slip back into the last two stages. That happens because this work is hard. So, they go at it again, until the reach this spot.
· They face it ALL: the habits that don’t work for them, the fear, the obstacles, the hidden things, anything, and everything that gets in the way.
5) Realest Real – Relief! We FEEL and ARE the best version of ourselves.
· We are proud of our journey, we embody the benefits in our mind, body, and soul.
· Love and passion flow freely!
· We design our entire existence around being THIS version of us.
· There are still hard things, but nothing intimidates us anymore because we’ve worked out a way of managing it all; we’ve changed what needed changing.
· We see others in different stages of their journey, and we cheer them on, because we know what their going through and are incredibly happy for them!
©Elena Sherwood 2021